have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
