Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
