nut hugger
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
you made out with another girl for some wings
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
