Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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