bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
