i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
