After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
