can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
