I murdered the dance floor call the cops
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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