a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
