wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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