You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
there was a trapeze. enough said
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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