just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
