She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
