Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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