she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
