she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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