It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
We need a shit load of segways right now
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
