someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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