Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Send us your Text From Last Night!
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
