Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Send us your Text From Last Night!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
