I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
