Texts From Last Night · sakiclanche19's Favorites

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sakiclanche19's Favorites Texts:

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.

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(302): View more from Delaware

Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.

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(217): View more from Illinois

yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think

Fav 15 1576 783
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(410): View more from Maryland

You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days

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(301): View more from Maryland

my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.

Fav 3 2127 865
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(207): View more from Maine

Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????

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(785): View more from Kansas

if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.

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