Texts From Last Night · fsu421's Favorites

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fsu421's Favorites Texts:

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(802): View more from Vermont

I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.

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(785): View more from Kansas

That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.

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(816): View more from Missouri

I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.

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(540): View more from Virginia

Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone

(1-540): View more from Virginia

I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her

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(501): View more from Arkansas

I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.

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(204): View more from Manitoba

All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."

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(415): View more from California

She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.

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(208): View more from Idaho

the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise

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