Texts From Last Night · as129's Favorites

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as129's Favorites Texts:

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms

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(410): View more from Maryland

Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar

Fav 6 3547 946
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(815): View more from Illinois

I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head

Fav 18 1655 2174
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(423): View more from Tennessee

Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.

Fav 6 1975 770
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(703): View more from Virginia

No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me

Fav 5 2950 993
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(646): View more from New York

HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.

Fav 21 3558 1144
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(310): View more from California

Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?

Fav 1 2427 1191
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(310): View more from California

We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.

Fav 4 3757 1150
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