You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
