Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Randomize
