He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
