im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
