I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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