About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
