Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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