I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
there is puke in my bra ... again
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
