Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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