I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
