i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
