Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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