either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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