omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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