Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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