So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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