this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
