She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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