Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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