I molested 6 butterflies tonight
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
