I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize