i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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