i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
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