I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
