If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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