so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
