I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize