Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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